


Undisclosed Desires

by LaraWrites



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Inspired by Music, Missing Year (Once Upon a Time), Muse - Freeform, Outlaw Queen - Freeform, Undisclosed Desires - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-10 12:56:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5586262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaraWrites/pseuds/LaraWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Muse's song 'Undisclosed Desires' sums up Robin and Regina's relationship pretty well I think, so I decided to write a fanfiction based on this song. I plan to do one chapter per chorus lyric, focusing on the topic of that lyric.<br/>Spoilers up to roughly season 4, OutlawQueen with mentions of Marian, Daniel and Leopold</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Want To Reconcile The Violence in Your Heart

_I know you’ve suffered but I don’t want you to hide_  
_It’s cold and loveless, but I won’t let you be denied_  
_Soothing, I’ll make you feel pure_  
_Trust me, You can be sure_

* * *

 

“Stay away!” She called out to him. Him, whose eyes burned into her soul. “I’m a monster,”

“Regina-”

“-Don’t”

“Regina _please,_ ”

 

She couldn’t run from him; it wasn’t in her and besides, her feet were killing and her shoes weren’t designed for running. Regina prided herself on being good with heels, but those Stiletto’s were a bad choice. She continued to walk away from him though, as fast as she could. She even tried to pretend he wasn’t there, but that was easier said than done.

 

“Regina wait!”

He was gaining on her. As much as she didn’t want him –didn’t _deserve_ him- she couldn’t stay away. She felt his hand on her shoulder and she stopped (Just inside her front gate). She couldn’t look at him, she couldn’t bear to see his face. She braced herself for it- the anger and abuse. After all she had murdered his wife, left him a widow and little Roland motherless. She deserved everything he had to say or do. He might even hit her- she would deserve that too.

 

But nothing came. No stream of hate, no insults, nothing. She dared glance up at his features- searching for anger that wasn’t there. He was watching her instead, studying her in detail. He wasn’t a very quiet man- he always had something to say- and his silence was worrying.

“Say something,” She whispered desperately, so confused by his lack of rage.

“Don’t run,” He replied immediately- his voice almost afraid. She frowned slightly, shaking her head.

“Why won’t you _yell_ at me?” she mumbled, looking up to meet Robin’s confused eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“For gods’ sake Robin _I murdered your wife!_ I’m a fucking monstrosity and you won’t even shout! Freak out! Scream! Hit me or something!”

“Regina, I would never hit you,”

“But you _should!_ After everything I’ve done to you. All the pain I’ve caused you, and Roland! Those years you spent miserable and drunk; that’s _my_ fault! I caused your misery! I’ve murdered the woman you loved, the mother of your son, and you won’t even raise your voice,” She let out a sob.

“You should hate me,”

 

She broke then. Angry at herself for killing Marian; for showing weakness; for crying when she had no right. He should be crying. He should be crying and shouting and instead she was. Robin reached out and pulled her into his embrace. He wrapped his strong arms around her and stroked her back, using the other hand to run a hand through her hair.

“Shhh,” He hushed, rocking her softly. He pulled her back to look into her glossy eyes.

“Regina,” He began solemnly. “What would be the point in me spending months convincing you you’re not evil to go and undo all that myself? I knew who you were when I met you. I knew the things you had done- but you’re not that person anymore,”

“Of _course_ I am! I’m vindictive and sarcastic and-”

“And a hero. I like your sarcasm- I _love_ it. Do you think I’d be able to stomach this place if it was all rainbows and hope? You keep me sane, Regina,”

“But I still killed her,”

“No you didn’t. She’s alive now. The _Evil Queen_ sentenced her to death but that woman is long gone. The only thing left of her is a barbed sense of humour and some nasty scars,”

 

His grip on her neck tensed suddenly and he pulled her in for a kiss; not a bruising, heated kiss to which she was accustomed, but a slow and passionate one. It reminded her of Daniel- of the warm glow of candlelight on the stable door- and the memory brings fresh tears to the fore. He gripped the hair and the nape of her neck and twisted his head to get a better angle, kissing away her sorrows. She wrapped her arms around his biceps and pulled herself against him, melting into his arms and the comfort she is finally familiar with. Even though she knows it’s slipping away from her again. She pulled away slowly, taking a moment to stare deep into his eyes.

 

“I’m so sorry, Robin,” She mumbled, “For this whole situation,” She felt tears brewing once more as she stroked a hand down the side of his face, memorising this look; his look. She attempted a smile but couldn’t quite bring herself to one. She counted herself two, three, four, five more seconds before she dropped away and pulled her hand back.

“You should go back to Marian,” She mumbled, nearly choking on her words.

 

Her looked at her for a moment, and wondered if she knew how selfless she was. How amazing she was in all aspects- how on earth she could still hate herself after everything.

“I know,” He mumbled, “But Regina, I am not abandoning you. No matter what I felt for Marian, there’s no denying what I feel now. I am not leaving you, okay? I’ll be back,” He smiled at her, wiping a tear from her cheek.

“Stay strong, milady. I will come back for you,”

 

He turned reluctantly and walked back in the direction of the diner. She watched him go, half running, shoulders hunched with his hands in his pockets. She let out a small sob before hobbling up the pathway into her house, where she shut the door and locked it with magic. She really lost it then. She fell back against the door, struggling for breath against her desperate sobs as she sank down and pulled in her legs, crying into her knees.

 

First she had lost Daniel, now Robin. Why did she think for a moment she could run from the past? You can’t hide what you are- especially if what you are is evil. Once her crying had subsided into quiet sniffs and heavy breathing she had an idea. It’s not like she hadn’t tried it before- it just didn’t have a very high success rate. But she was desperate. With a shaking hand she reached in and extracted her heart, pulling it out and holing it in front of her. Robin had pointed out the darkness receding before they had returned it to her before. Now however, all she saw was black. There didn’t seem to be any red left visible on the wretched orb. She still felt the pain, it just wasn’t as intense. With a slight sigh she placed it next to her on the hardwood floor.

 

She must have fell asleep in that position because when she woke there was a light shining through the window and a thin layer of dust on her worthless organ lying on the floor.


	2. I Want To Recognise Your Beauty's Not Just a Mask

_You trick your lovers that you’re_

_wicked and divine_

_You may be a sinner,_

_but your innocence is mine_  

* * *

 

 

He opened one eye and saw the sun muffled by the curtains. It’s funny, no matter how often he slept in a closed off bedroom with curtains, he still woke at dawn every morning. It was because his body was fine-tuned to waking up at first sign of light; because there were no lie-ins in the forest. It was not so bad now in winter, when the sun didn’t rise until gone eight, sometimes later. But Regina would kill him if he tried to wake her up at five every day in June.

 

And there she was, curled up next to him in the bed. Snuggled right up against him, his hand draped carelessly over her waist. He chuckled now to remember when they had first spent the night together, she had blushed so much when she woke up to find him just staring at her, her naked body pulled flush against his.

 

She was strange, his Regina. In her prime at night she was like a Siren, enticing him with her sexiness and oozing confidence. But in the morning light she was suddenly coy. The morning was Robin’s time, when he woke her in explicit ways and cooked her a hearty breakfast, taking her for a stroll in the woods and teaching her to appreciate the fairy time; before anyone else was awake, where the world was theirs and theirs alone.

 

But more often than not he let her sleep- he knew she wasn’t an early riser at heart, no matter how much she pulled herself into the office before 8 on weekdays. Also, the dawn seemed to have a heavenly effect on her; his so-called _Evil Queen_ became an Angel in the soft light. Even now, the muffled glow from beyond the maroon curtain bathed her in a soft pink glow which circled her and outlined her dark hair, sprawled across her shoulders.

 

With a suppressed moan she turned slightly onto her front, turning her head so it faced him and he stared at her perfect features. Her long dark eyelashes, her small nose and delicious lips. The duvet slipped just below her bra strap, and what he could see of her perfect skin- her shoulder blades and the curve of her spine- made him hum in appreciation. She was truly a goddess; memories of their night together came rushing back to him, giving him a blush in his cheeks and a warm feeling down below. It had been… She had been…

 

But this was Robin’s time. He was going to utilise it.

 

Leaning down he placed a full kiss upon her lips, forcing her mouth open with his tongue. She sniffed and shuffled, frowning slightly in confusion but not fully waking up. Perfect. He tightened his arm around her waist and turned her onto her front as softly as he could, moving to lie atop her. He continued to kiss her, and her frown deepened as she began to regain consciousness, but still disorientated, she simply melted to his kisses- opening her mouth and moaning.

 

He grinned mischievously, moving his hands to her bra and kneading her breasts. He watched her eyes flutter open as he pulled away, moving to kiss down her neck as his hands travelled further south. His mouth took the place of his hands, nipping and sucking her nipples through the fabric of her bra. Overwhelmed by sensation her eyes flew shut again, and she moaned as her hands flew up to grip the pillow behind her. He smirked and let loose a chuckle at her dishevelled state- she always liked to look so composed, it was his favourite thing to undo her hard work. He loved her at this time of morning- where she was not yet able to put up any sort of air. He had her- raw and real.

 

He pressed his palm up against her and she sighed, high and breathy. His mouth moved up and bit down on her collarbone, and she gasped in pain, moving her hands to grasp at his hair as he soothed the bite with his tongue. He rubbed small circles around her clit, revelling in the moans she was releasing. Unable to control himself, he moved to her mouth to swallow her sounds. He slipped one, then two fingers inside her and watched her unravel at his touch. She gripped his hair with more fervour and he moved his mouth back down to her neck, biting and sucking at her flesh while his hands worked faster to pull her to the edge. He could feel her building, feel her reach her peak.

 

“Let go, Regina,” He whispered. It was the first thing he had said all day and his voice was low and husky. At the sound of her name on his lips she cried out as she found her release, moaning and calling his name in her heated passion. And he continued, riding out her high.

 

When her breathing had begun to calm he moved to lie back next to her, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead.

“Morning,” He mumbled, chuckling.

“I hate it when you do that,” She mumbled, her morning voice low and gravely. He moved so se could see his face, and his confused frown.

“Really? It didn’t sound like you hated it…” She gasped in exasperation at his smirk.

“Don’t be so smug,” She snapped, the grin on her face giving her away.

“I think I’ve earned it,” He countered. She opened her mouth to reply but he swooped in with a kiss to stop her. She gave in, kissing him back with a passion.

 

“What are your plans for today?” He asked her, knowing her reply would be too long and complicated to follow.

“ _You_ are my plans today,”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, today I’ve reserved for us to do something. For once the town isn’t under attack or in imminent danger, so I figure they can survive for a day without me,” She grinned at him. Her face was bathed in light, her chocolate eyes wide and happy. When she smiled they folded into crescents, slightly puffy from sleep. He loved her. Her beauty was immense- he had heard rumours of it back in the enchanted forest. But nothing, _nothing_ , could describe her. She was flawless.

 

“So,” He began, “What do you want to do today?”

Regina rolled over and curled up under the covers.

 

“Sleep,”


	3. I Want To Exercise The Demons From Your Past

_Please me, show me how it's done_   
_Trust me, you are the one_

 

* * *

 

 

He liked the castle. It was very large, and the young boy inside him longed to explore it. There was so much history here; every corner was dripping in a legacy he was vastly learning more about. He had conquered nearly all of it, even the long stretches of corridors which were completely abandoned and covered in cobwebs. In fact the only section he hadn’t visited was the one the queen had forbidden anyone access to. Including the princess Snow.

He had resisted it thus far, everyday passing it a constant torture. But today- today Roland was with the Merry Men and he had nothing else to do. Regina didn’t seem to be about, he believed her to be busy. This was his chance, to discover what was in that corridor; what the queen was hiding from everyone.

He reached the barred doors and looked around before reaching out for the handle. Locked- what more did he expect? He was lucky it wasn’t enchanted. He pulled a tool out of his pocket and picked at the lock, feeling for the tumbler’s until they clicked back and the door opened. With a triumphant grin he stepped inside the corridor and pulled the door shut behind him, as quietly as he could. The hallway looked, unremarkable. It was actually identical to most of the hallways in the castle; all the abandoned ones that is. The stretch of corridor was covered in dark wallpaper; with very small high windows offering the only light available. He was beginning to grow accustomed to the morose patterned walls and the macabre atmosphere, but this was different. The entire area emanated something he couldn’t quite pin down- an air of depression that he couldn’t locate, or even prove. It was like he was surrounded by ghosts. For a second he began to doubt his quest, perhaps there was a reason the queen had banned access to this area.

But he shook off his doubts; after all he had been waiting for this for months. His curiosity pushed him to walk through the corridor, to what seemed to be the only room, located right at the end. He walked slowly, his footsteps sounding painfully loud against the hardwood floor. He paused at the door, a large and ornamented entrance with a golden handle. For a moment he wondered if it would be locked too, but surprisingly it opened with a loud creak and a cloud of dust.

The room beyond it was drab. It was plain and bare, each old piece of furniture covered in a thick layer of dusk. The sheets on the four poster bed were faded, and the bed was perfectly made. There was a wardrobe in the far corner, the doors shut tight. Under the curtained window was a rocking chair with a few grimy teddy bears and stuffed creatures placed perfectly on there, their black beady eyes shining up at him as if they were accusing. Over the fireplace was a large full length portrait of a beautiful couple, a young woman with dark curling hair and a man with a kind smile but a vacant expression. Robin walked towards the portrait, mesmerised by the strange looking couple. They must have been royalty; they were adorned in rich jewellery and fine clothing, the liked of which he used to steal from people like those in the portraits.

“And just what do you think you’re doing, thief?” The voice made him snap out of his trance and he turned suddenly to see the evil queen standing in the doorway. Today she was dressed in about as casual attire as she would wear; a long elegant blue velvet gown that hugged all of her curves. Robin had to admit, no matter how scary she was she was… well… hot.

“I couldn’t resist,” He replied, “I am far too curious,”

“Can’t even follow a simple order? Nothing says ‘Keep Out’ like a locked door,”

“My apologies, your majesty,” He turned back to the room, his nosiness pushing him further and making him braver. “If you don’t mind me asking, milady, why is this room out of bounds? It doesn’t seem so scary,”

“I do mind you asking,” She snapped in reply. She took his eyes off him and scoured the room, seemingly seeing it all for the first time. “It’s none of…” He noticed her breathing increase rapidly as she took in the bed, the wardrobe, “…of your…” The chair and its toys, and all their watching eyes, “…business,” The Portrait. Her eyes widened in… fear? It was an emotion he had never seen on her features, and it worried him. As her eyes shut she fell back, and Robin raced across the room just in time to catch her.

***

When she woke she was confused. She had forgotten where she was, what time it was. She opened her eyes, her head dizzy and disorientated, and realised she was in a bed. When her eyes began to adjust she realised with a start _whose_ bed she was in and she started to panic. Her breath came in short, heavy gasps and she pushed herself upright and tried to get up.

“Shh, milady please. Don’t, you’ll hurt yourself,” a soft voice called, and strong hands grasped her wrists and held her down. She resisted, kicking and struggling until she began to calm and regain her bearings. It wasn’t Leopold holding her down; it was that Robin, the thief. She stared into his deep blue eyes and matched her breathing to his in an attempt to calm herself.

“You passed out, you need to calm down your majesty or you might faint again. Or you might have concussion or something,” He really did sound concerned. Slowly, she pulled her wrists from his grasp.  
“How long have I been out?” She asked carefully, her voice high and afraid. She cursed herself for it.  
“A few hours,” He admitted. “I didn’t want to fetch anyone because I didn’t think you’d like the publicity,”

For a moment all her barbed comments left her.   
“Thank you,” she replied, rubbing her wrists and avoiding his gaze. He put his finger under her chin and tipped it up until she was looking into his eyes. In any other moment, she would have incinerated him for such a bold move, however right now she simply accepted it.  
“Are you alright, your majesty?” He asked, his voice full of worry. For some reason the elaborate title seemed wrong on his lips, after all he had now seen her completely vulnerable.   
“Regina,” She corrected. He frowned in confusion. “You can call me Regina, for now,”  
“Right, are you alright, Regina?” She nodded feebly and he removed his hand from under her. He sat on the bed beside her, looking deep into her eyes. She glanced up at the portrait and swallowed, and he followed her gaze.

“Why have you barred this room, Regina?” He asked, even though he already knew the answer. She drew her eyes away from the painting to look at Robin, his pale blue eyes staring right back into hers, and she felt like he was looking into her soul.

“I have a very dark history in this room,” She replied. He waited for her to continue. “That man is Leopold, the King and Snow White’s father. When I was nineteen I was forced to marry him, by my mother,” She wanted to stop but for some reason she couldn’t, with Robin and Leopold staring at her, and her own fragile state spurring her on. “My marriage was not a happy one. The king wasn’t a violent man, but he was possessive. He would withhold things from me if I… withheld from him. Or tried to run,” She swung her legs around the edge of the bed and continued her lament facing away from the accusing eyes of the room.

“Once I had taken care of my mother, I began to learn magic. It gave me power I had never had before. I could’ve left, in theory. But things weren’t so simple; I couldn’t leave my father, or… Daniel. And something kept me wary of my husband, something deep inside that stopped me from disobeying him. I was free, but trapped all at the same time. I- I had numerous affairs in this very room, just to try and get back at him. It… corrupted me, slowly. Sitting up here, all alone most days, just watching the weather change.”

“One day I couldn’t take it anymore. But the thing is… I couldn’t kill him. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t. It seems funny that after all the evils I did before and after- I killed my own father, even- I couldn’t even kill the man that caused all my misery,” She rose from the bed and walked over to the rocking chair, picking up one of the bears and looking out of the window into the now-dark sky. “My husband had recently freed a Jinn, who fell in love with me. I convinced him his feelings were reciprocated, and even wrote it in the diary I knew my husband read. Leopold couldn’t love me, but refused to let me love another. He locked me in this very room for a number of weeks,” She turned and looked around at the room, as if remembering her imprisonment. She wandered toward the fireplace (The thief must have lit a fire while she was asleep).

“The _stupid_ Jinn believed I was genuine and I had him kill Leopold. And I was finally _free._ But it was too late really, I was well and truly evil. I remember seeing his face, cold and dead, and I was still afraid. As if he would snap back to life and order my execution, or worse lock me back in his room. And nobody, nobody from his precious kingdom knew what their _benevolent_ King was really like- but I did. I endured so much torment at his hands, and it drove me insane,”

She turned to look at Robin, tears in her eyes. “If a person has to do terrible things to be free, does that make them a terrible person?”

A single tear fell down her cheek and dripped off her chin and onto the floor. Robin rose from the bed and walked to her slowly, reaching out to her and wrapping her in his arms. Throwing it all away- every mask she had ever worn- she broke down and began to sob into his shoulder. She shook in his arms as she cried; letting out all the pain and fear she had felt since entering the room. And he simply held her close, stroking her back in a slow, monotonous motion that made her feel oddly safe.

She eventually stopped, and pulled away from him. She wiped her nose on a handkerchief tucked up her sleeves and dabbed under her eyes. She glanced at him with a bashful smile.  
“I’m sorry,” She muttered. “You don’t want to hear all of this,” He stopped her, placing his hands either side of her head and looking deep into her eyes, forcing her to look into his.  
“You are _not_ evil. You are _not_ terrible. You are completely misunderstood,” And slowly he moved in and pressed a kiss against her lips; soft at first, but growing in passion until they were kissing each other with heat and passion. His hands travelled around to her neck, and he wrapped them deep in her hair as hers moved to his shirt, pulling their bodies flush together.

When he broke they were both panting, and he rested his forehead on hers. She looked up into his eyes, and offered him a shy smile before placing a kiss on his lips. He returned one with more feeling, grinning against her lips. Perhaps this was a mistake, but for now it didn’t feel like one, for either of them.

“Come, milady,” Robin said, moving toward the door and holding his hand out to her, “Let’s leave this place. It’s dusty,” She took his hand and followed him out the door.

They left the fire to burn out on its own accord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's been some dispute about Regina's marriage to Leopold. I know for creative and fanfic purposes, it's easy to go to the whole 'unwanted forced horrific marriage' but let's face it, Leopold wasn't exactly a monster. He just wasn't very smart or empathetic. It can't have been that bad because once Cora was gone Regina could've left, but she didn't.
> 
> On the other hand, he was a pretty bad husband. He was neglecting and didn't take her feelings into account. For Christ's sake he locked her in a room because he read her diary and thought she loved someone else.
> 
> So in conclusion, Leopold was not a monster. He was actually a good guy, he was just a shit husband, and he didn't understand limits. I think he was just possessive really


End file.
